There is nothing quite like listening to emo punk rock (Coheed and Cambria’s Favour House Atlantic, to be precise) and swinging some kettlebells to get you out of a funk. And that’s exactly what I’ve been in recently, a funk.
A heavy apathy that feels like someone sitting on my frontal lobe, making my thinking butter knife dull, and the most basic tasks present themselves as mountains instead of molehills.
So, with endorphins were pumping, a thought struck, “Who’s permission am I waiting on?” Lockdown creates inertia. We’re waiting for our release date, a time when we can start living again. The nation is waiting in a queue that never gets shorter…..which would be fine if it was a queue in a soho bar on a Saturday night.
2020 was a year of looking for permission and reassurance from the outside. Namely:
- business coaching
- abdicating, instead of delegating, responsibility to employees
- over investing in external opinions
- working with people that make me miserable out of a sense of paternal loyalty’
- grinding work out under the banner of ‘not giving up’ – what ever the fuck that means.
Now, dear reader, let’s not completely throw the baby out with the bath water. There is a lot of merit to things like therapy, considering other people’s opinions and having the grit to see things through but there is a balance to be had.
The one thing that’s made my business successful is speed and constant evolution. Unfortunately, both can create chaos and uncertainty but they also create growth. You don’t get growth without some level of chaotic destruction.
Since inception, Type A have itteratively changed the way we do things every 6 months. It’s been iterative and innovative and that’s why we’ve done well. But since we’ve all been locked in our houses – that’s went away. I’ve blindly listened to the narrative of “everyone is hard up at the moment” and that “there is an impending economic crash”. I’ve went from chasing down new opportunities to hunkering down to protect what I have.
The problem with listening to the current narrative is that you are always waiting for something to happen, instead of making something happen. One mindset is reactive, the other is proactive. One is outside of your control, the other is inside your control.
Making decisions is hard. Especially, when it affects other peoples livelihoods. Especially, when you don’t have people cheering you on. Especially, when their is no clear answer. Especially, when there are so many loud voices with even louder opinions.
Take comfort in the fact that your decisions don’t actually matter- how you live with them does.
Only you can can make decisions for you.
No one is coming to save you.
No one is going to do it for you.
It starts- and ends- with you.
No permission needed.